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losing my mind againJust about the only things I can't hold onto,
a steady job and my sanity.
you know this.
Bong star goes hard when
ripping himself down
slightly underweight and
made of lead.
amphetamine found on the day to day
adulterous adulterants found in high dose in cheap MDMA.
either-way, pure or not,
I'm just happy to be happy, happily-
drop a call- drop a line
got a dime piece?
Then, man, everything fine
we go tradesys, man,
it's crazy, but
the higher I get the
less the worry 'bout what 'crazy' means.
I, EternalNo day has a hold on me.
I am ever changing,
ethereal to the touch of wrinkled hands,
a pass to unknown parties as
yesterday to today, and
today to tomorrow.
A Window-Seat to DepressionThe birds outside they call so sweet.
With them in sight, they cannot beckon me.
The world outside may cease to be. Still,
I would fear what I hear but cannot see.
So the cold berates a weep. And
I gather myself up in piles and heaps.
I wish to know, and hear, and see. Though,
all I do is stay in and sleep.
TrainwreckI've smoked blunts for no pain,
Treated depression with cocaine,
lived off bumps by the thrust of dust,
and drugs as a day to day.
A blast from the past
No future in front of me.
Lack of cash deemed
Pulled like a needle through thread.
Pull my strings and I'll search for needles.
Need a little pull to seek help from people
or crash and burn on a path to no where.
count from 10...9
but you 8 lactose so
your stomach is 6
when is the last time you 8
now I cannot:
Turn stuff off.
nails made out of liquid,
seen from animal perspective.
We're held together better
lacking our synthetic tether
You are dying.
You slowly travel down a tunnel and see a bright light at the end.
When you get close, hands fly out at you and force you out of the light.
"It's a boy!"
The BitternessI miss the bitterness.
Scrap this line!
Credit card swipe's declined!
I miss the bitterness.
I'd eat until I filled to the brim.
I am a Pez dispenser.
I miss the bitterness before the sweet,
the cure to cliches, and the stamped cartoon characters that told me
it would be okay.
I am bitterness,
B.L.E.D.Anguish is the man I was
before I bled him to death
I feel I'm losing grip.
I grip and feel it loose.
DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE!
How can I approach my discomforting reproach,
when I'm always too scared or too scary?
Events leave me scarred.
Bled of passion, emblazoned with the intimidating cry of a death rattle, I.
The Boy Who Wouldnt EatIf you can flutter
I have failed you,
for you were not forged
to be so insubstantial as that
You were writ
to be an epic fable
of endings ignored,
of outlasting your body
through the sheer will
of a writers starving heart
through a broken, bowed
but bravely abiding body
that fights the soul
to comprehend Beauty.
BeautyI'd rather wear flowers in my hair,
forming a delicate chain
Than diamonds around my neck,
covering my tender blue veins
For with every precious petal
and every lucent leaf
I'm a living lesson
teaching beauty can not be bought
But rather it grows and flourishes
with every living thought
To Be ThinYour eyelashes fall
on tablecloth cheekbones;
fine, white linen,
to an unsustainable point.
Your tears spill
and stain the cloth,
of grey, of grey,
spoiling that unattainable dream.
................written in a frenzy and run-on
and exclamation points
used in rapid succession
words all blurred
so bare bones it's bloody
strung out and on display
in a frightening combination
of paragraphs and stanzas
punctuation gone mad
ellipses my new black
used and abused
then spit out
in gratuitous repetition
there is no word count here
no hearts dotting the i's
just a string of letters
done up in cursive
but not very pretty at all
Fearing MeI'm not afraid to cry
and I do it
a lot more than you would guess.
It isn't always sadness,
I just feel like I need to,
feel everything so strongly
that it's the only way
to let go for a moment
because if I hold on for too long,
if my grip gets too tight
I'll break myself,
I will break you like glass
and we will both
I am a good guy
who hasn't yet found a way
to show it,
I am a good guy
who still identifies with the villains,
hides everything important
anything to throw you
off of my trail....
and I don't know why,
but I am trying.
Maybe I think
that if you could see me,
the real me,
you wouldn't want to look anymore,
want to be anywhere near me,
and the idea
that I can't add up
to be enough for you,
to be enough for me,
is so fucking heart breaking
I can hardly fathom it.
I can't say that it doesn't hurt
because it does,
it hurts a whole hell of a lot,
I've come to depend on pain,
to befriend misery
you're just a question marki met you so long ago
but back then our bodies were made of metal
and nowadays they’re made of the blades of
grass and dirt settling
underneath my fingernails.
my fingers are having a hard time
reaching the keys and
my organs are shaking mostly because i haven’t
eaten in two days but also
because i’m worried about the things you're doing to yourself.
we didn’t meet very long ago at all but it feels like forever ago
and you say you don’t know me
that you don’t know anyone
but baby you're turning into a skeleton and i’m peeling back my skin
to try and reach my bones, just like you.
i hope you're happy,
i’m covering the hard wood floors now
the bits and pieces splattered.
they are calling it a suicide but i’m calling it
a way to see my brain and
just how dark it has become, and honestly
i don’t want you to try and see about your’s.
i’m mourning the loss of my heart and wish you weren’t either -
Sound PoemIthrumden, ithrumden delsum
nith mul thruss elmrissull.
Eth rut mundelliss
Curmiette dessel renrin
irme trell ithrumden.
The partyFlashing lights
Smoke all around
About to pass out
My head starts to hurt
I can't take this anymore
So without saying anything
I find the exit
And escape that place
"How can someone have fun in there?"
Coming HomeComing down the ramp I spotted you in the crowd
Your tenderloin skin always stands out
Your aura was particularly bright that day
Whirling dervish colors in the pale sun
You wore a chauffeurs cap and held a sign that said “Anyone”
I knew that I wasn’t anyone, so I walked away
“Strange days,” someone said, and I agreed
I hate crowds and old garbled memories
Arriving home, my wife and cat didn’t recognize me
I looked in the mirror and noticed that I was someone else
Still carrying my old baggage, I turned away
I should have taken your limo
LatreuophobiaI wash off sick-sweet orange lipstick in front of a mirror as dusty as gothic romances. It tastes like oblivion, that is to say, like nothing my tongue can detect.
The door opens with a creak no private restroom could emulate. Some chick with blue bobbed hair and smeared eyeliner. I looked like that once. Ten years ago.
Getting the beer out of my hair is harder. Some men just can't take it when I'd rather they not kiss my feet or call me an angel or-
“Dayum girl, you look like a goddess.”
I gulp, taste of acid.
Keep in Touch!
^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More